My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
