and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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