They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
