we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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