first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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