when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
