You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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