You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
