love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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