Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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