Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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