whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
