he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We are two peas in an std pod
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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