I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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