saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
