1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
