I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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