I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think my vagina is haunted
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
