Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My dick has a subreddit
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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