but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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