all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
