Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize