I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
