Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
