ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
