True but thats because hes a fetus.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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