So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
