im about as happy as oj after his trial
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
