Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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