Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well I just put wine in my tea
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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