No more Irish car bombs ever.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
