Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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