How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
