i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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