I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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