I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
