were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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