how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
