I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
