If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
