Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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