I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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