We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
