Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
