Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
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