I bet he comes in French.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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