I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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