i just wanna soil my oats bro
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
