do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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