quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize