Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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