She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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