you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
