and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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