i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
