So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize