Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
