my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't think brook has ever known best
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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