do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize