ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
this will be a night to untag.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
