Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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