i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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