I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize