I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
