Sponge bath it is.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
