Your tits are I can't wait for
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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