Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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