Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
