Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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