I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
