are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
