The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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