what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My vagina is officially offended.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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