I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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