i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
