I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
