Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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