Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
