Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
