Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
A+ Viking dick
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