It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize